Gifting & what we really want

With Christmas a month away today, my inbox is full of Black Friday deals, Thanksgiving lists and Minimalist Christmas suggestions. Which cumulatively got me thinking about what we really want.

Admittedly I have read numerous articles about presence rather than presents, and about time being more valuable than material gifts. There are articles about festive traditions instead of gift-giving.

And today it all landed for me.

My thoughts turned to 2 recent bits of info which came my way and which are also related to this question.

A week or so ago I read a mail from The 5 Love Languages in which was discussed the idea that we all want to be seen. It is directed towards adults and relating.

“Simply put, we all desire to be seen for who we truly are. By that I mean something more than optics. Feeling “seen” means feeling known, heard, and understood. It means that someone not only pays attention to you but also “gets” you and where you are coming from.” 

Dr. Gary Chapman
Author of The 5 Love Languages

I also recently attended a masterclass by Dr Shefali – of “Conscious Parenting” – in which she discussed, among other things, what our children want. My point form notes are below:

What does every child wants answers to:

  1. Am I seen? – for my essence – who I am in essence – unconditional acceptance
  2. Am I worthy? – is who I am worthy of your validation
  3. Do I matter? – am I of significance in this home, do I create an impact in this house

It seems children and adults alike get great value out of our being truly present.

So perhaps I will focus on just that this season:

  • limiting phone use to work calls. An email check once an hour.
  • keeping up a daily meditation practise
  • breathing and staying in the present
  • looking up and greeting loved ones when they walk in a room
  • structuring work so I am super organised these holidays, so I remain productive, but also have time to focus on my girls
  • enjoying a few festive traditions
  • slowing down
  • simplifying
  • and regarding gifts – choose quality and longevity

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