A Simple Beautiful Life is about creating a life of quality.
Even though quality of life means different things for different people, I would bet that for many of us, a simple way of helping to deal with adversity would add to that quality.
Through learning and experimenting, I have found a few things that have helped me to deal with life when it throws a curveball. And that, I consider, adds to creating a better quality of life.
In that spirit, I offer the ways I have learnt to deal with adversity.
It takes some time and not every situation will be suited to it. But if you are triggered emotionally and you have the time to process it, I believe it can lead to a calmer, easier experience of life’s ups and downs.
One – Pause
Pauses are where the magic happens in so many life experiences. They stop us from reacting emotionally when reacting calmly would be better. They can prevent responding in a way we could regret later. A pause gives us the space to to work through our immediate emotional reaction.
Two – Breathe
I use various breathing techniques every day, to calm the nerves, to recenter myself, to help me focus, to slow down. Even taking a few deep measured breath helps to bring me back down to Earth when I need it. And I often need it!
Three – Confront it and analyse it
In order to move through something, we do have to face it. In order to improve self awareness and therefore decide to attempt better responses, we need to have a look at the situation and our reaction to it and see why we are really having such big feelings. Then we can better understand what part is within our control and what part is not. We can only work on the part that is within our control.
Four – Write it out
I am a big supporter of regular/ daily writing as a way to process and channel the scrambled thoughts we have, and to get them out of ourselves and onto paper. Sometimes I find it easier to write out challenges rather than speaking to someone about them, because in writing I don’t need to hold anything “impolite” back. I can just release it all and have no consequences of being a messy human.
Five – Get Perspective
After having calmed a bit I try to look up and out and at the rest of my life. Done with an “attitude of gratitude,” it can become clearer to see this bit of adversity as just a part of the whole – and not everything. I find in this way it can get smaller and lose some of its punch.
Six – Decide
We have the power to decide how to react (read more about taking personal responsibility for our lives). We have the power to decide not to let it ruin our day. Once we have calmed down and reasoned with ourselves, we get to the point where we have to make a decision. To let it go. To push it aside and get on with more meaningful things. To talk to someone safe.
Seven – Take action
Then respond, take action, deal with it. When you are not reacting from an emotional place of fight or flight, take action. Whether it is a resolvable situation or not, our only power lies in our reaction to an external situation (cue the Stoics). In my experience so far, I prefer to avoid living with regret from acting too hastily.
The Short Version
In not all situations do we have the time for a lengthy process so in short I would try steps –
- One – Pause
- Two – Breathe
- Six – Decide
- Seven – Act
I have found that so much value is in the pause. Slowing responses down for a moment to let things land. Then considering the options as to how to react. And then acting.
I have been working for a few years now to pause. I am not a naturally pause-y person.
I aspire to a life of simplicity because I am not a naturally slow and simple person.
But who am I to give this advice?!
I am a normal person living a life where some great things happen to me and some not so great things happen. I am not a trained professional. I always feel I should add that as a disclaimer.
This is what works for me, and the actions I take to deal with life. I write from what I have learned in life and my experience as a 40-something-year-old woman.
- I work from home.
- I raise my children.
- I write this from my own perspective.
- Here is a bit more about what I stand for.
- I am not an A&E doctor dealing with immediate emergencies,
- I am not a CEO with the lives of many resting on my decisions.
It is my hope that this broad advice can be a toolkit for you to try on. It has helped me when I have felt overwhelmed and emotional. It is what I do regularly.
So if it helps – I am glad.
I wish you a simple beautiful and peaceful day.
Thanks for reading.
For more simple beautiful life inspiration – come find us on instagram at asimplebeautifullifesa.