Dear Project Happiness – you so often seem to send something which resonates. Today it was “Live everyday in alignment with what you care about and believe in. In this practice, you create a life that aligns with your values.”
Yesterday I started my work day with a colleague shouting and swearing down the phone at me and then slamming down the phone. Twice – because I called him back to tell him that it is not ok to swear and shout at me!
This was his reaction to a simple disagreement – over some info in an email. Part of me pities him. But more of me – oddly – celebrates his outburst. Because it showed me that I have learnt something about me.
His total lack of self control was like a gift from the universe nudging me along my path of self-discovery. Previously aggressive behaviour like this directed right at me would have melted my confrontation-avoiding heart. Tears and angst would have been the outcome.
Yesterday I was not emotionally affected at all. And so from ugly confrontation can emerge some radiance. In fact all I feel is some awkwardness/ embarrassment for him with regards to future dealings.
Today thinking about it:
- I had no physical manifestations of stress – palpitations, no sick feeling in the stomach, no nail-biting, no shoulder tensing. These feelings used to be par for the course when confrontation happened.
- I understood that I have learnt now not to take such an outpouring as any burden of mine. It is all his to own. I used to take everything on! This is still a work in progress, but I am learning.
- I ended feeling stronger and more empowered. I have felt lately that I am returning to myself after quite a while away. It feels so good.
- What I deem as acceptable behaviour was brought sharply into focus. His was not acceptable – to me.
- I was reminded that we all have choice. I choose not to spend any more time than I have to with aggressive, tempestuous, frenzied, unrestrained behaviour (loving the adjectives).
- There are so many different types of people in the world. And we each have our own stories. But it brought home to me again that we each can choose how we react to those stories.
And so when this landed in my inbox in the morning I realised that this is it. What a simple gem of advice – to live as you wish to be remembered. A happy legacy. And larger than a life.
Respect for self and others (and the Earth), solid values, honesty, authenticity, fairness, peace.
All the good stuff.
And all the stuff which for me speaks of a simple beautiful life.